Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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