she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
