He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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