Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
