Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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