I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
