I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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