The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
