remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
this will be a night to untag.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
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I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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