I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
