evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
and i looked up. we had an audience...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
