just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
