its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize