we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Houston, we have a squirter
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Your shirt... Was in my pants
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
