last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
