Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
