I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
