He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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