i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
