I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
