Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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