people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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