You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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