yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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