You really coming over, don't trick.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
