Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
