Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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