my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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