i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
