I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize