Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
