The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize