You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
