how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
