nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ambien. No doubt about it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
