A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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