He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
