If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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