Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
