i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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