I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
