so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i believe in u and ur pee
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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