I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dignity is for republicans.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
