I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
