Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
being pregnant is like rehab
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
