TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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