It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
