dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
