So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize