This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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