Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
