Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize