In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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