She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
